Month 4, Day 1: Still hanging in there

I gave up on blogging because even though I wasn't drinking soda, I also wasn't losing weight. Nothing was changing. In fact, I actually gained a couple of inches since the last time I blogged. It was massively discouraging to even talk about it.  However, that is the truth about giving up soda: it isn't a panacea that's going to magically fix everything.

That's just as important a finding as anything else. Drinking soda is being blamed for a lot of things, but if after 4 months of going without the pounds haven't magically melted away and I'm still not drinking any, then there must be another culprit at large. Something else that I have to fix to fix the problem.

It's not a lack of exercise on my part. I live in Elko, Nevada. I regularly walk a mile or more a day just in my effort to get to work. This isn't walking on flat, even land. This is walking up 30 and 45 degree angle hills, sometimes with 10-20 pounds worth of groceries. There's plenty of resistence built into my routine, and it's never the same amount or the same weight each day so I can eliminate the notion that it's my body getting used to what I'm doing and plateauing.

Eliminating soda has reduced my sugar tolerance. I used to take 3 tablespoons in everything. I have cut back to 2, so I've eliminated another source of sugar in my diet and there still hasn't been a positive change. In fact, as I said, I've actually put on some inches since the summer time.

Here are my current measurements:
waist: 39"
gut: 48"
hips: 46"
bust: 43"
neck: 14 1/2"
upper left arm: 15 1/4"
left wrist: 7"
left ankle: 10 1/2"
upper right arm: 15"
right wrist: 7"
right ankle: 10"

I do have a thought about what's going on. It would have to be tested and proven first, before I could call it more than just a thought, but here's what I'm thinking may have happened.

I used to be super skinny. 98 pounds worth of skinny, about 12 pounds underweight for someone 5' tall. It didn't matter what I ate, none of it stuck. Getting pregnant with my son changed that. I put on 44 1/2 pounds with him.

This indicates that there was already a problem with my thyroid, which regulates metabolism. It was cranked up into overdrive. The hormones in pregnancy altered that, bringing my thyroid back into line with what it should have been.

I drank a lot of soda back then, at least a super big gulp a day - roughly a 2 liter of soda a day. That's a lot of caffeeine intake. Caffeeine as we all know is a thyroid stimulant, cranking up the metabolism artificially. What most people don't tell you is that when you artificially begin stimulating the thyroid, the body will eventually stop doing it on its own. It doesn't want to waste resources that it could be using elsewhere doing something that you're just going to override anyway.

Add in a second factor - which is that I took a depo provera shot shortly after my son was born - and that massive dose of hormones escalated the situation. Sent it into overdrive. Years of heavy soda drinking and that combined to wear out the thyroid early. It's not functioning like it should be.

About 8 years ago I went to 3 or 4 doctors trying to figure out what was wrong. None of them were listening. All of them told me my hormone levels were "normal", despite the evidence I gave them that it wasn't normal for me. This is the problem with charts and graphs. What's normal for one person isn't always normal for every person. I'm pretty sure the results would be different now. However, I can't afford a doctor to verify this.

I think a long-term study needs to be done on the effects of soda on the thyroid, to see whether it causes the thyroid to burn out early as I'm guessing it does. Here are the symptoms of hypothyroidism in women:

• Weight gain, even though you are not eating more food
• Increased sensitivity to cold
• Constipation
• Muscle weakness
• Joint or muscle pain
• Depression
• Fatigue (feeling very tired)
• Pale dry skin
• A puffy face
• A hoarse voice
• Excessive menstrual bleeding

I have several of the symptoms on the list. 

Day 27: Almost through the first month

I find this thought incredible. I am almost through the first month without soda, and I don't miss it. I get the occasional moment where I look at or think about a drink, but I've learned a lot about what drives those and how to avoid putting myself in the way of temptation. Giving up soda isn't something I ever thought I would do, and here I am almost a whole month in without it.

I was listening to someone on a webinar this morning, and what struck me about his talk was that he said we are not afraid of situations. We are afraid of how we will feel about them.  I think giving up soda has taught me how true this is. I was afraid giving up soda would somehow be too hard, that I wouldn't be able to do it, that I wouldn't like doing it. I was afraid of missing soda too much. Then, I do it, and I find out that I don't really miss it at all.

Sometimes, when we set out to change our lives, we surprise ourselves. Things we thought were impossible or that would be extremely difficult prove almost effortless. It's about the right timing in our lives, about the right mindset, and the will to do it.  It helps knowing that there are people paying attention to what I do, and that I'm accountable for the failure if I choose to give in to temptation.  It helps, too, to have seen positive changes come from this small change in my life.

Day 22-25: Keeping It Up

I spent two days on the road, and yesterday recovering from that. I still haven't had any soda, which is actually somewhat miraculous.  On Saturday, we were up at 4 am to get out of the house by 6 and in the air by 8. Our train wasn't due to depart Salt Lake City until 12:20 am the morning of the 22nd, but by 10 pm we were told it was going to be two hours late and I was already exhausted. I needed energy, and the only drinks available in the vending machine that might have given me the boost I needed was Mountain Dew. My husband even suggested making an exception under the circumstances, but I held firm.

The next day was stressful as we dealt with issues at home that had been neglected in our absence and tried to find solutions. Fortunately I was too busy to be overly tempted by soda. Today, however, I found myself staring with some longing at my husband's soda and the 2 liter bottle they bought while I was sleeping last night.  Still, I resist because honestly it's not worth going backwards in my progress. A year's a long time, but I've done well so far and I want to keep it that way.

That's another life lesson: Victory comes through meeting little challenges every single time with the end in mind, and not giving in to the thought that it's just this once.  Sure, I can start over again if I have to, but the truth is that every time you give in it makes it that much harder the next time you have a battle against temptation.

Day 21: Precision Makes a Difference

As I said that I would, I decided to re-take my measurements. I'm going to ignore the other three measurements I took and re-start my comparisons based upon this set.  This is because I took time to be sure that I pinpointed exactly where the measuring line was to begin each time I measured.

Bust: 14" from shoulder, sans bra
Waist: 19.5" from shoulder
Gut: 5" from waist
Hips: 8" from waist

I re-measured myself at these points and here were the results in the areas that mattered most:

Bust: 44.5"
Waist: 40.5"
Gut: 47"
Hips: 45.5"

Now that I have baseline measurements and know precisely where I will be measuring to compare, I am also choosing to make it first thing in the morning when I awake as my measuring time. This assures me that a stuffed belly won't skew the results.

Life lesson learned: Being precise is important when trying to measure the results of any effort you make in life. A lack of precision can lead to two outcomes, neither of which is good. The first negative outcome is being falsely encouraged to continue on a path that may not actually be fruitful.  The second negative outcome is to become discouraged by a false reading, leading you to quit or give up when success was at hand. Either one is counter-productive.

Day 20: 2nd Measuring Day

It's hard to believe but it's been 10 days already since my last measuring day. The fit of my clothes hasn't really changed, so I knew not to expect much of a drop, but I wasn't expecting this. It's disappointing, but the results are in:
                                                                 September 8th             September 19th
Left & Right Wrist           7"                            7"                                 7"
Neck                               15"                         15 1/2"                            15"
Bust                                 44"                        43 1/4"                            45"
Waist                               40"                        40"                                  40"
Gut                                  48"                        43 1/2"                            48 1/2"
Hips                                 46 1/4"                 45 1/2"                            46"
Rt ankle                           10 1/2"                  10 1/2"                           10 1/4"
Lft ankle                          11"                         11"                                10 1/2"

I'm not sure what happened at all. It's possible I mis-measured last time. It's also possible that, as my husband suggests, I need to pick the same time of day every day to measure. I took the measurements right after eating, when I was full enough to practically pop which may have affected the size. It's also possible that hormones affect the measurements.

These are taken just a few days after finishing my period. It's also possible that where I am measuring each time is affecting the results. I'll have to develop a more precise method of measuring so that I can be consistent. I have made a decision to measure again in the morning before I eat to see if it makes a difference. That should allow me to eliminate the possibility that a full belly was distorting results.

On a more positive note, I did not have any soda today, and there were at least some decreases in my measurements. It wasn't what I wanted but it's still some change. I'm hoping that being back in Elko where I'll be walking more frequently and up steeper terrain will help to make a more radical difference. We'll see what happens in my next 10 days.

Lesson for today: Don't let discouraging results cause you to quit. Discouraging results aren't a reason to give up. They are a reason to re-evaluate what you are doing and how you are doing it so that you can make any needed improvements and get back on track.  

Day 19: Looking in the Mirror

I haven't ever been a huge fan of looking at myself in the mirror, but I became even less of one as I put on the pounds and became ashamed of what I saw there. I used to love having my picture taken, but the added weight made me ashamed of what I saw when I looked at the pictures. I didn't like what the camera and the mirror were telling me, but I wasn't ready to change. I wasn't ready to give up the things I knew I would have to give up to reclaim my self-image.

Today after showering, I was getting dressed and thought to myself - for the first time in I don't know how long - I wouldn't be ashamed of wearing a bikini looking like that. Yes, I still have a bit of a muffin-top, but it's not the six months pregnant belly I was sporting just a short time ago. I'm starting to see curves appear where they belong, and I'm proud of that.

If I've gained nothing else from this past 19 days, that alone is enough. Of course, it wouldn't be melting off so quickly if I weren't already in the habit of walking a lot already. Combining the two is what is having this powerful effect.  I wrote yesterday that I wasn't seeing a change in clothing sizes, and that's true, but I am reminded today that there are other changes taking place which are equally important.

As much as I liked my sodas, I like this feeling better. It is the feeling of reclaiming myself from underneath the layers of weight I was wearing like too much baggy, saggy clothing can hide an attractive figure. This is the unspoken reward of changes like this: the feeling of power over your life that comes with it. I am sure there will be a time when the weight loss isn't coming and the stubborn fat won't go, but that will just tell me that I'm ready to take the next step and make the next adjustment to my life.

I didn't expect this no soda challenge to teach me so much about life in general, but it has. When you've made a change in your life and you stop making progress forward in the direction you want to go, it's not a signal to give up on that change. It's a signal to see what else needs to change so you can get moving forward again.

Day 18: Still good

I really didn't know for sure if I would reach this point or not, but I'm proud to say that I have reached day 18 without any soda at all. Not so much as a sip. It's probably the longest period I've gone without it. I think I've tried doing it a few times during Lent, but I always allowed myself to have it on Sundays since technically you aren't supposed to fast on Sundays.

The feeling is good. Soda has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. When I was growing up, it wasn't allowed to be part of my daily life but it was often enough that we identified ourselves as a "Coke" household because that was the only brand we drank. I grew up and moved out on my own, and began drinking soda as often as I could afford it and as much as I wanted. I was a grown up, after all, and I could make my own choices.

It wasn't that I didn't know that soda wasn't good for me. It's that I knew and figured it wasn't that bad. There are so many things these days that you're told are bad for you, how do you sort through those things which are truly a threat and those things which are not? Part of it, too, was not wanting to believe it was that bad for me. I liked soda. I liked the way it tasted, and I didn't really want to give it up, so I downplayed the things I saw listing how bad it was for you.

I did frequently joke that it was nothing more than carbonated sugar water. I knew it was horrible for my teeth, and yet I clung to the behavior because it was something that I'd been raised doing. I'd tried giving it up for a time before, but always found myself craving it and looking forward to the end of my deprivation. I didn't want to give it up, so the reluctance drew me back to it as soon as there was no more excuse to keep me away from it.

This is yet another lesson learned about quitting something.  It's not enough to know that you need to do it, or that you should do it.  It's something you have to want for yourself. You have to want to quit, want to be free of that addiction, want to give it up.  You also need to be sure that you have someone or something holding you accountable for results. Knowing that someone is keeping track of your progress is plenty of incentive to do what you know you should be doing.