Day 19: Looking in the Mirror

I haven't ever been a huge fan of looking at myself in the mirror, but I became even less of one as I put on the pounds and became ashamed of what I saw there. I used to love having my picture taken, but the added weight made me ashamed of what I saw when I looked at the pictures. I didn't like what the camera and the mirror were telling me, but I wasn't ready to change. I wasn't ready to give up the things I knew I would have to give up to reclaim my self-image.

Today after showering, I was getting dressed and thought to myself - for the first time in I don't know how long - I wouldn't be ashamed of wearing a bikini looking like that. Yes, I still have a bit of a muffin-top, but it's not the six months pregnant belly I was sporting just a short time ago. I'm starting to see curves appear where they belong, and I'm proud of that.

If I've gained nothing else from this past 19 days, that alone is enough. Of course, it wouldn't be melting off so quickly if I weren't already in the habit of walking a lot already. Combining the two is what is having this powerful effect.  I wrote yesterday that I wasn't seeing a change in clothing sizes, and that's true, but I am reminded today that there are other changes taking place which are equally important.

As much as I liked my sodas, I like this feeling better. It is the feeling of reclaiming myself from underneath the layers of weight I was wearing like too much baggy, saggy clothing can hide an attractive figure. This is the unspoken reward of changes like this: the feeling of power over your life that comes with it. I am sure there will be a time when the weight loss isn't coming and the stubborn fat won't go, but that will just tell me that I'm ready to take the next step and make the next adjustment to my life.

I didn't expect this no soda challenge to teach me so much about life in general, but it has. When you've made a change in your life and you stop making progress forward in the direction you want to go, it's not a signal to give up on that change. It's a signal to see what else needs to change so you can get moving forward again.